Friday, July 30, 2004

All You Can Stand

Okay, everybody knows (it seems) who they will be voting for in the coming election.

But... what if it doesn't work out the way you want? Will you be able to accept the "other guy" as the legitimate President of the United States? Or is that beyond acceptable limits?

What would you do, in each of the following scenarios:

1. John Kerry wins and becomes President of the United States.

2. George W. Bush wins, and is re-elected President of the United States for another four years.

3. John Kerry tells one too many jokes about Tereza, and ends up the first President since William Harrison to die one month in office, and John Edwards becomes President of the United States.

4. George W. Bush has another "pretzel incident", this one fatal, and Dick Cheney becomes President of the United States.

5. President Bush chokes on a pretzel again, this time fatally, John Kerry is indicted for those war crimes he admitted to back in 1971, Dick Cheney tells the whole nation to "f" themselves, John Edwards is sued for stealing the life savings of veterans' widows, and so Ralph Nader becomes President of the United States.

6. President Bush chokes on a pretzel, fatally, John Kerry is indicted for those war crimes he admitted to back in 1971, Dick Cheney tells the whole nation to "f" themselves, John Edwards is sued for stealing the life savings of veterans' widows, and so Ralph Nader becomes President of the United States, but 5 minutes after his inaugeration Nader is killed by a falling tree, making Peter Camejo the President of the United States.

7. The night before the election, Bill Gates shows up on national television, and explains he has "acquired" the United States Government in a takeover. He offers full employment and tech support to the nation, names a Technical Support team to get rid of the "Osama bug", and promises to include the Bill of Rights in Windows 2005.


I await your responses.

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