Thursday, January 19, 2006

Who IS the 'Jack Bauer' of Blogging?

[ - bang - ]

As I drove home from work yesterday, I listened to Hugh Hewitt's radio show, and Hugh turns out to be a fan of "24". So much so, that he readily accepted the nomination, which he says was tagged by blogger Frater's Libertas, as the "Jack Bauer of the Blogosphere". Chad the Elder wrote in response that he actually dubbed Hugh as "the Jack Abramoff of talk radio and the blogosphere".


I don't know that I would be linking respectable and intelligent people with Abramoff right about now, but I have to agree with Chad that Hugh is not the Bauer model. I like Hewitt, and he's spot-on with some of his insights, but sorry Hugh, you're no Jack Bauer. If nothing else, the fact that you are a lawyer disqualifies you. Could anyone imagine Jack Bauer with a law degree? Please.

But it raises a good question. Just who, in the Blogosphere, is our Jack Bauer? Without saying at the start who I think fills the bill, here's how I see the role:

1. He's male. Sorry ladies, but this gun-toting, do-what-a-patriot's-gotta-do guy is focused testosterone. This ain't Siegfried and Roy, this ain't Dr. Phil, and any woman pulling the kind of stuff we see Bauer doing in "24" would look more like "Xena" than a counter-terrorism agent.

2. He's decisive. No one who can be connected to a focus group or committee need apply.

3. He's not PC. Bauer does what is required, and is not subtle about it.

4. Despite being violent a lot, Bauer is not crazy or bloodthirsty. He does what is necessary, but holds his fire, and is willing to let even terrorists live if they surrender. That rules out DU or Daily Kos, even if they could accept being on the same side as Bauer.

5. Bauer is in such deep cover, most people think he's dead. Talk about controlling your ego. That rules out Rush, most talk show hosts and columnists, and anyone who has voluntarily appeared on Leno or Letterman.

6. Bauer knows guns. And uses them often. This rules out anyone from the State Department or the United Nations, or their advocates.

7. Bauer is indestructible. In a previous season, Bauer freaking died, someone got his heart started again and by the end of the episode Bauer was kicking bad guys in the groin as hard as ever.

8. Bauer always knows what's about to happen. As a result, he has a few seconds to plan his actions, which only appear to be impossible.

9. Bauer trusts the right people. He instinctively knows the traitors and low-lifes, but depends on the ones he knows are stand-up.

10. Bauer gets results. Compromise is useless.

So, with that in mind, who is the Blogosphere's "Jack Bauer"?

Please include reasons with your nomination(s).

1 comment: