Thursday, October 04, 2012

Denver Crash Under Investigation

(Denver) - The NTSB declined comment this morning as they sorted through the wreckage from last night's head-on collision between President Barack Obama and his record in the Oval Office.   Witnesses reported seeing Mitt Romney at the location, and some suggested he was responsible for the collision, by directing voters' attention to the economy and national policy, forcing Obama to run directly against his own work.  A source for the NTSB, who refused to be named for this report, said that while Romney was a contributing factor, Obama's spending trajectory made such a collision inevitable.

The degree of damage from the catastrophe is still being determined, but medical experts warned that Obama's credibility could be severely diminished.  One expert said it was possible for Obama to decline to a "Biden-like coma".  Others said it was far too early to give up hope, citing free phones and soaring rhetoric being applied in large measure to reduce the pain and take the focus off hard numbers.

Chris Matthews is reported to be in seclusion, undergoing severe withdrawal symptoms.

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