(Denver) - The NTSB declined comment this morning as they
sorted through the wreckage from last night's head-on collision between
President Barack Obama and his record in the Oval Office. Witnesses reported seeing Mitt Romney at the
location, and some suggested he was responsible for the collision, by directing
voters' attention to the economy and national policy, forcing Obama to run
directly against his own work. A source
for the NTSB, who refused to be named for this report, said that while Romney
was a contributing factor, Obama's spending trajectory made such a collision
inevitable.
The degree of damage from the catastrophe is still being
determined, but medical experts warned that Obama's credibility could be
severely diminished. One expert said it
was possible for Obama to decline to a "Biden-like coma". Others said it was far too early to give up
hope, citing free phones and soaring rhetoric being applied in large measure to
reduce the pain and take the focus off hard numbers.
Chris Matthews is reported to be in seclusion, undergoing
severe withdrawal symptoms.
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