Monday, April 25, 2005

Counter-Terrorist Agent Arrests Democrat Leadership


Hollywood (Fox) - Jack Bauer, the lead actor in a fictional task force assigned to attack terrorists and defeat their plans, took over the Democratic Party Caucus, which was meeting with leading actors in Hollywood for the purpose of raising funds, morale, and munitions.

Held in custody by Bauer were Senators Reid, Clinton, and Baucus, as well as attempted demagogues Martin Sheen, Rosie O’Donnell, and Michael “Make Me Money” Moore. Authorities were uncertain of Bauer’s authority to hold the actors and pretenders, as an unnamed FBI source explained:

Most of these Leftists types are no longer living in the real world, so a fictional government agent would hold jurisidction in such a case. No one has seen any indication that Senator Reid is living or working in the real world, so someone from fiction had to go get him.”

Bauer explained the matter in rather blunt terms:

These people want to destroy America and all it stands for, and I’m not going to let that happen.”

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