Monday, October 31, 2005

Frum Gives OK to Alito

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Washington (DC) – In a nod to the new order at the White House following last week’s interception and removal of Harriet Miers, Special Judicial Authority David Frum recommended the nomination of Samuel Alito to the United States Supreme Court, after consultations with Federal Justice Inquisitor Ann Coulter and Supreme Nomination Reviewer George Will.

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist shrugged when asked if Senate Confirmation hearings will even be held. “The people who give the OK have already done so,” he explained, “but we may hold hearings, so Schumer and Reid don’t blow a gasket.”

Early indications that Alito would make it through the Frum-Coulter-Will gauntlet were promising, as none of the Deciding Three Who Speak For The Movement compared Alito to a low-level service employee, mocked his law school, or compared Alito’s appearance to any sort of farm animal. Rumors that Alito had to sign a Loyalty Oath to the DTWSFTM could not be confirmed, although there were unconfirmed reports that Alito was shining shoes belonging to the three shortly before the press conference.

In a related story, President Bush will be allowed to make speeches and present nominees, provided they are pre-screened for acceptable content, and for the time being Bush will also be allowed to reside in the White House and use Air Force One, especially for Republican fund-raisers. Laura Bush, however, remains on a sort of secret probation, and reportedly has been warned to pay more attention to the “right sort” of Conservative opinion.

2 comments:

PVD said...

Too funny, DJ!

Amazing that that poor old pumpkin head Bush managed to do so well with the pick when he obviously lacks the capacity to think (deeply)per Supreme Nomination Reviewer George Will.

I don't think the folks back at Poli would find it so funny though.

Hang in there, guy!

Bender said...

Very funny. Or at least it would be if those folks hadn't caused us to lose a candidate who was known to Bush, even if stealth to us, and probably anti-Roe, in exchange for a guy with a big paper trail, which shows that, more often than not, he has sided with the pro-aborts, and is probably so judicially "conservative" that he will think that stare decisis demands that Roe and Casey be reaffirmed. But at least he is not "crude" and is smarter than all of us, with his fancy Ivy League degree, and when he does reaffirm Roe, he will show off his sterling intellect and win the praises of George Will.