Saturday, September 25, 2004
Jedi Master Endorses President Bush
Washington, D.C. (STN) - Jedi Master Yoda announced at a press conference this morning, the combined endorsement of the Jedi Knights and the Galactic Republic, to re-elect President George W. Bush to a second term.
"The right man, is he", explained the warrior sage. "Much confused, is his opponent. Both ways he would go, on every issue he cannot decide where he stands."
Yoda was challenged by John Edwards, who was intercepted by a bearded Jedi.
"This is not the one you seek" assured Obi wan Kenobi.
"This is not the one I seek" agreed Edwards.
"Your true enemy is another" suggested Kenobi.
"My true enemy is another" said Edwards.
"Now that you think about it, Ted Kennedy and Michael Moore are an awful lot like Jabba the Hut" said Kenobi
"Yes, they are" agreed Edwards, "I'll go sue them immediately."
"Don't forget the Dark forces of MoveOn.org" reminded Kenobi.
"I'll get them, too" promised Edwards, and he ran off to file subpeonae.
Dan Rather approached the pair with a scowl.
"Aren't you two dead?" demanded Rather.
"Acting, we were" he explained. "When nine centuries you have lived, well you learn to get a paycheck where you can."